absurd absurd oh lordie absurd

Life, that is.

I finished my essay on Uranium and Helium for Diagram. Here is an excerpt:

When you first start to think about Helium being a by-product of the decay of Uranium, you wonder if it’s the same thing as seeing the CIA in a stranger’s glance. That is, what kinds of connections are you drawing? Are you sane? Has a kind of nuclear terror lodged itself in your marrow, a bright heat in your bones? You should not be imagining burning bodies at your daughter’s party. What is wrong with you?

There are people that believe in God! There are people that believe Uranium is a righteous element! The God people from all over meet the Uranium people from all over and a common lust is formed. Whose Armageddon will come first? Who will say I told you so? Whose reward will be more just? The Uranium people whisper to the God people that they should join teams.

Towards the end of the party you start to describe to the remaining girls that Helium is a gas that is lighter than the elements that make up air. They giggle. You said gas. You tell them that the element started off as a rock, one of the heaviest rocks on the planet. The rock got lighter and lighter as it threw off energy. Radium became Radon became Polonium became Lead and so on. This balloon, you say, as you tug on its string, is floating because the element inside was once radioactive. Like an X-ray? says one girl. No, like chemo, says another. They are cool with science. She is relieved. She smiles her gummy smile, tell them about bombs, she says.

Let's hope the Mr. Monson likes it.

I watched Pu-239 over the weekend. It was disappointing. The actors were British doing Russian accents. Why not just use Russians? There were some beautiful moments, like when the man who was exposed to 1000 hertz of radiation is describing decay. The film was based on a short story. I'll have to try to find it.

I found lots of my dad's books with his markings inside. I took: Imaginary Beings, The Age of Reason, a beautiful set of Fitzgerald with deckled edges, and some Kafka. I was reading The Age of Reason and Kafka at the time of my mom's surgery. I was able to finish the books using my dad's copies. I got to see his marks instead of some other persons (my copies were bought in WV at a second hand store-- a WV reading Sartre-- right on!) I had no idea we had similar tastes. Of course this makes me sad and angry because I would have liked to have talked to him about books. But, I suppose I am having a one-sided dialogue with his underlines and notes.

Does anyone know of any open jobs? I love my job, but I make shit. Seriously.